DRAMA FREE THURSDAY: Hand holding

[elionwyr]

I wrote, a few weeks ago, on the value of listening, and the topic in my head today is a sort of topic-neighbor to that blog entry.

We communicate - here, in our electronic life, or out there in our flesh-and-bone world - about the things that are bothering us, affecting us, disturbing our hearts or frustrating our minds. When we express ourselves in pixels, it's much too often difficult to know exactly what to say in response.

*hug* is what we most often type out.

And I've seen folks get really annoyed by this, to the point of insisting that *hug* is not an appropriate or welcome response. Maybe it's because you can't wrap yourself in that inky well-intentioned embrace, so it feels a little hollow. Or false. Or too easy.

Sometimes, the drama monster is attracted by the hug. Which is, I think, a wee bit unfair.

During the past week, I've had my nearest and dearest face some pretty sucktastic stuff. They're too far away for me to touch. I've typed out *hug* and <3 and no, it's nowhere NEAR enough of a response.

But it's what I've got, when the person I want to comfort is literally hundreds of miles away.

And that sucktastic crap they're dealing with is stuff I can't really help with. Nor is it stuff I can really offer opinions about. Nor is it stuff they really need to hear feedback or opinions about. It's all stuff they need to ponder and sort out and make difficult decisions about and...ummm...*hug*?

The code monkey that can invent an internet hug of substance deserves to become a multi billionaire. Until that magic happens, we're stuck with finding text-based ways to say, "I am here and I'm reading this and what you're experiencing sucks major moose, and I love you."

Or - ya know - more often than not - *hug*.

No drama.
Just a bit of pixel-captured love.


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"Drama Free Thursday" is the brainchild of popfiend - visit here for all of his yeah-you-should-read-'em posts.

The goal of DRAMA FREE THURSDAY is pretty simple: These are posts that offer a different approach to stressful situations. Drama happens when we react without thinking, when we respond emotionally to a situation.

So! The first rule of DFT is - say it with me - "Your Mileage May Vary." What works for me may not work for you. And that's ok.

Second rule of DFT: YMMV. :)

Third rule of DFT: Discussion good. Drama? Not so good. Let's try to avoid it in the comments. Tell me you don't agree, tell me what the world looks like from your perspective, because I can guarantee you're gonna have something to say that I hadn't considered. This blogger's soapbox is only an inch or so high...so please, share your thoughts and perspectives on whatever is posted here. (That rule goes for my LJ in general, of course, but it makes sense to repeat it here.)

<3

Comments

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

It's always worked for me, when I get it. I get the instinct behind it. I think people who bitch about it are sometimes already so angry and raw it just grates on them.

[cissa.livejournal.com]

That's a really good insight. I know that often a *hug* is all I can offer, but (I hope) it6 lest them know I'm thinking of them and wishing them the best.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Yup yup. Sometimes, it's really all we've got..

[foxyshadis.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, you just need to know someone's out there, and shares your pain even for an instant. Sometimes you're so wrapped up in what's upsetting you that even a real physical hug would set you off instead of helping. We're all much too human for each other, let alone this sterile world of pixels, but all the same, it's better to know you gave all you could than withheld what might have made a difference. I've always appreciated your insight. :)

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

:)

I love 'seeing' you around again! *hug*

[dreamsrundeep.livejournal.com]

I have always appreciated the sentiment of Internet hugs. But I honestly am a little bit hesitant to give them precisely because of the reaction you described. Sometimes a real-life hug isn't even enough, but it is something... Hugs in any way shape or form are a good thing to me!

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

And hey, a pixelated hug is easier than a real life hug to give - no worry of violating personal space! :)