silly post postponed
May. 14th, 2012 05:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elionwyrOne of this past weekend's discussions was about how Facebook is a blessing because it lets you keep in touch with your friends' lives in a more intimate way than if you talked to them a few times a year.
Today held a bit of a flashback to something that happened to another friend a few months ago. That's a convoluted way of saying 'wow deja vu of the worst kind ever.' Today, the news flashed my FB feed that a friend was found in his home, apparently struck by an aneurysm.
And it's funny how I hesitate over calling him 'friend.' We met once. But we spent a few months texting and emailing a lot as he processed a sudden change in his life. I'm not sure when he went from 'someone I've met' to 'someone whose death is making me cry.' It's an alchemy born of an unexpected and mostly under-the-radar connection. I don't think I have the right to this reaction.
But - la. Here it is.
I was talking to my mom when I saw the news. My voice changed. I hung up, and I checked in on the people that I know knew him much better than I did.
I went for a walk.
I thought about the times I lived alone and isolated, no landline, no accessible phone signal, sick in bed, wondering what happens if something happens? who would know? And so maybe my tears are because I have had that fear, considered that possibility.
But this is, of course, not about me.
Yesterday the haunt community lost a sweet, talented home haunter. His website, http://hauntproject.com, is a great resource. His home haunt videos and pics are here: http://www.perfessorevil.com/ His FB page is being flooded with messages of love and thank yous - in the end, those kinds of messages are the best we can hope for. He made a difference, a positive impact, on those around him - those he may not have realized treasured him as much as they did. He was a book geek, a lover of ren faires, a sender of sugary birthday treats. He was honest with his struggles as his life took an unexpected and dramatic turn last year, and he weathered those difficult inner earthquakes with a blunt honesty that was impossible to not respect. Rik was creative and kind. Sensitive. A good man.
He's going to be missed. A lot.
Today held a bit of a flashback to something that happened to another friend a few months ago. That's a convoluted way of saying 'wow deja vu of the worst kind ever.' Today, the news flashed my FB feed that a friend was found in his home, apparently struck by an aneurysm.
And it's funny how I hesitate over calling him 'friend.' We met once. But we spent a few months texting and emailing a lot as he processed a sudden change in his life. I'm not sure when he went from 'someone I've met' to 'someone whose death is making me cry.' It's an alchemy born of an unexpected and mostly under-the-radar connection. I don't think I have the right to this reaction.
But - la. Here it is.
I was talking to my mom when I saw the news. My voice changed. I hung up, and I checked in on the people that I know knew him much better than I did.
I went for a walk.
I thought about the times I lived alone and isolated, no landline, no accessible phone signal, sick in bed, wondering what happens if something happens? who would know? And so maybe my tears are because I have had that fear, considered that possibility.
But this is, of course, not about me.
Yesterday the haunt community lost a sweet, talented home haunter. His website, http://hauntproject.com, is a great resource. His home haunt videos and pics are here: http://www.perfessorevil.com/ His FB page is being flooded with messages of love and thank yous - in the end, those kinds of messages are the best we can hope for. He made a difference, a positive impact, on those around him - those he may not have realized treasured him as much as they did. He was a book geek, a lover of ren faires, a sender of sugary birthday treats. He was honest with his struggles as his life took an unexpected and dramatic turn last year, and he weathered those difficult inner earthquakes with a blunt honesty that was impossible to not respect. Rik was creative and kind. Sensitive. A good man.
He's going to be missed. A lot.
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Date: 2012-05-14 09:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-14 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-14 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-14 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-14 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-15 12:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-14 10:07 pm (UTC)(Aside: that's happened to too many friends and acquaintances of mine over the years, damn it.)
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Date: 2012-05-15 12:49 pm (UTC)I'm sorry it's something you've had touch your life too many times.
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Date: 2012-05-15 05:14 am (UTC)Living alone is scary. Andy would be the first one to know something went wrong & he has no way to contact my family... that scares me, too. Even my mom doesn't worry if she hasn't heard from me all week... well, my job might notice I'm not there... maybe.
Well, he can now haunt all of us for real, so we have a super good ghoulie on the other side...
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Date: 2012-05-15 12:48 pm (UTC)**hug**
And yeah...I grok. I have a locked and very filtered post at the top of my LJ with 'what to do/who to contact' info that a select few folk can get to...because you just never know. When an unexpected death happened a few weeks ago, I found myself so scared along the selfish lines of 'what if it was Bones? would I know? when?' It still scares me. And I'm gonna keep on poking you when you've been too quiet. You've been warned. :)
Rik's passing is sorta like Cody's. You realize how many communities a person can touch. The ripples go a lot further than what one might expect.
I'm still sadder than I think I should be..