LJ Idol: "When you pray, move your feet."

[elionwyr]

What was love in his gaze is now madness.

He would make me my mother. And no one dares raise their voice in protest.

In the silence of my rooms, I pray to silent gods. Rescue me.

The only answer is the growing pile of royal gifts.

When there are no more tears to cry, when my voice is hoarse from pleading, when I realize no one is listening, I place my hand upon the door.

Passive asking causes no action.

I will answer my own prayer by the moving of my feet.

Comments

[n-maranda-coy.livejournal.com]

A paraphrased statement spoken by too many for me to credit:

"The best fairy tales are those where the princess saves herself."

Well done.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

*released held breath*

Thank you for being the first to respond. *hug*

[m-malcontent.livejournal.com]

Nice entry. I like it, packs some punch for the length.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Oh hell, I didnt' mean to screen...gotta go fix that.

Thank you for the comment!

[ysobelle.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh, I know what you've ben reading. I love this.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

I'm always happily surprised when you comment on something I've written..so thankee! :)

[cacophonesque.livejournal.com]

A daring opening move to use such an economy of words. And clever to reframe a fairy tale and have the heroine save herself.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

I was going to go a different route, admittedly, but if this is where we introduce people to our voices...this is how I write fiction.

Thanks much for the feedback. I appreciate it!

[shadowwolf13]

Short but powerful. You know I love fairy tales and this is perfect.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I appreciate your words.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

This is where I struggle. I have a really hard time fleshing things out. I tend to write stories as if I was writing poetry, and my poetry is always a scene, not a full tale.

Thank you for reading. :)

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

*blush* Thank you - both for the words and for taking the time to read. :)

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

Short, but it needs no more. I would consider this more on par with a fable than a fairy tale; it reminds me of Aesop. Nicely done!

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

I think my fairy tales often flirt with fables. Thanks much for the feedback! I appreciate it. :)

[wrensgirl.livejournal.com]

"Passive asking causes no action."

Very thought provoking. Thank you.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

My sweetheart has introduced me to the idea of manifesting what you want. Which shouldn't be a new wuu wuu thing, but it clicked this time around, and it's something I've been thinking about a lot.

This incredibly short story touches on three stories, really. The one that's the strongest is a memory of being in a reall bad situation and spending a lot of time curled up in bed, desperately praying (read: begging the universe) for the situation to change.

It didn't. I had to get out of bed and go do something about it. And I'd even go so far as to say that the person that helped me get out of the situation was the answer to my prayer. But I had to go find her.

Practicing manifestation is more proactive and - IMO - achieves quicker responses. Even if that response isn't really what I wanted. *wry grin* Now to work on exact wording!

..And thank YOU for reading. :)

[malruniel11.livejournal.com]

Well done and powerfully written! What a way to leave the gate this season!

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

*beam* Thank you!

[mrstotten.livejournal.com]

short and sweet :) and the last line is amazing

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading and commenting!

[blythe025.livejournal.com]

Nice poetic progression. You tell a complete story in a compact space. Well done.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thankee! :)

[wolfden.livejournal.com]

Short and powerful.

I like this quite a lot.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thanks for saying so! :)

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

Sometimes the best ideas are in few words. Nicely done.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[whipchick.livejournal.com]

Really enjoy your spare style, so evocative - I like it when the reader has to work, too.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Heh. I was in a writing group once where that was a constant argument with one of the members. She wanted me to tell her everything in the first paragraph or two...and that's not generally the way my fiction works.

Thank you for reading and commenting!

[noodledays.livejournal.com]

you did a lot with very few words - nicely achieved. :)

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[kittyfaelis.livejournal.com]

So much in so few words. Great job! I love it when short writing manages to create such depth and emotion.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thankee. :)

[nannerz2cool.livejournal.com]

Lovely.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Yay! :)

[myrna-bird.livejournal.com]

I like the poetic feel. Nicely done.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

My poetic roots show in my non-fic a lot, too. It makes for some interesting discussions with editors who don't care about rhythm, they just want to make space for their ads. Heh.

Thank you. :)

[az-starshine.livejournal.com]

Wow. This is amazing. Excellent job!

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[barrelofrain.livejournal.com]

I like how sparse it is. :)

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Heh! Biggest difference between my fiction and non-fic..the non-fic is always longer. Thank you for reading!

[lawchicky.livejournal.com]

Very poetic- well done.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[basric.livejournal.com]

Lovely

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[mac-arthur-park.livejournal.com]

Wow. Great entry!

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it!

[qa.livejournal.com]

Get out of there!

I really liked this.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Zoom, baby!
Thank you. :)