Zookeeper Tales: Losing a Tortoise
Jul. 31st, 2010 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elionwyrThere are some animals you would think would be hard to misplace in a room.
Tortoises are high on the list.
And yet, gentle Readers, I have managed it.
I was working at the zoo later than I should have been, so I can perhaps blame this story on exhaustion rather that stupidity. Yeah, let’s go with that.
The zoo, which contained about 120 exotic critters, had a policy of letting certain animals wander on the floor to give them a chance to exercise outside of their enclosures. Our tortoises spent their days in our kitchen, walking laps around the room and eyeing each other’s sexy carapaces with lustful thoughts. At the time, we had three tortoises – two male African leopard tortoises, and a female yellow footed tortoise.
Though female, her name was Burt, and Burt had a hard life as a young tortoiseling. A poor diet left her sickly and deformed, but she was a genius with her poop. If she didn’t want to be used for an education program? Bam! Instant diarrhea. She possessed a truly amazing digestive tract. What I experienced more was her amazing ability to blow bubbles out of her nose as a result of some recurring, possibly alien, respiratory illness.
However, on the evening in question, I experienced a new ability...that of invisibility.
As I was putting critters away for the night and checking to make sure everyone was fed, watered, and in their cage, I realized I was short a tortoise.
Where the hell was Burt??
I looked under every cage, in every corner. The animal center was in the basement of a natural history museum, so I ran around the hallways outside the zoo, terrified that I might find Burt chewing happily on some arsenic-ridden bone.
How the heck do you lose a frigging TORTOISE??
In near-hysterics, I called my boss. “I don’t know what to do!” I wailed.
“It’s ok. Just go home..I’ll come in.”
“Are you SURE?!?!”
“Yup. I’ll find her.”
And indeed, Jacquie did just that. Within a few minutes, in fact.
Because Burt – perhaps in an effort to avoid her horny little friends – had managed to open a cabinet in the kitchen, climb inside, and settle in for the night.
*sigh*
Another critter-lesson learned. Never underestimate an animal’s creativity.
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Tortoises are high on the list.
And yet, gentle Readers, I have managed it.
I was working at the zoo later than I should have been, so I can perhaps blame this story on exhaustion rather that stupidity. Yeah, let’s go with that.
The zoo, which contained about 120 exotic critters, had a policy of letting certain animals wander on the floor to give them a chance to exercise outside of their enclosures. Our tortoises spent their days in our kitchen, walking laps around the room and eyeing each other’s sexy carapaces with lustful thoughts. At the time, we had three tortoises – two male African leopard tortoises, and a female yellow footed tortoise.
Though female, her name was Burt, and Burt had a hard life as a young tortoiseling. A poor diet left her sickly and deformed, but she was a genius with her poop. If she didn’t want to be used for an education program? Bam! Instant diarrhea. She possessed a truly amazing digestive tract. What I experienced more was her amazing ability to blow bubbles out of her nose as a result of some recurring, possibly alien, respiratory illness.
However, on the evening in question, I experienced a new ability...that of invisibility.
As I was putting critters away for the night and checking to make sure everyone was fed, watered, and in their cage, I realized I was short a tortoise.
Where the hell was Burt??
I looked under every cage, in every corner. The animal center was in the basement of a natural history museum, so I ran around the hallways outside the zoo, terrified that I might find Burt chewing happily on some arsenic-ridden bone.
How the heck do you lose a frigging TORTOISE??
In near-hysterics, I called my boss. “I don’t know what to do!” I wailed.
“It’s ok. Just go home..I’ll come in.”
“Are you SURE?!?!”
“Yup. I’ll find her.”
And indeed, Jacquie did just that. Within a few minutes, in fact.
Because Burt – perhaps in an effort to avoid her horny little friends – had managed to open a cabinet in the kitchen, climb inside, and settle in for the night.
*sigh*
Another critter-lesson learned. Never underestimate an animal’s creativity.
Click Here to Donate
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-31 02:57 pm (UTC)(Why yes, I'm in that kind of mood. Easy for me to be in, you probably can guess.)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-31 03:00 pm (UTC)