Dreams of kitties past
Jan. 20th, 2002 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elionwyrI had a lamentably easy-to-interpret dream last night/this morning.
I was looking around a house that my beloved and I had bought. Our bedroom was on the second floor, and we needed to work a lot on the house in general.
I looked over and realized that Maggie, my tabby cat, was hanging out with us, but that I rarely ever saw her. So I followed her as she ran to the unused third floor of the house. It was only accessible through a small passage, and there was a very narrow hallway leading to the main room on that floor. The next room was a narrow kitchen, with a bedroom next to that and a connecting attic sort of crawlspace. It all sort of went around into a "c" shape.
There was nothing up there at all - not even cat poop.
I went back downstairs and very excitedly told my beloved that we should move upstairs to be with Maggie. It was so clean up there, and those rooms didn't need any work - so we could stay there while we worked on the rest of the house.
Jason looked at me as if I were crazy. I thought, "Oh, he doesn't want to move all this furniture up there!" and began explaining that we could easily enlarge the hallway and such - the hallway wasn't even really anchored down, it felt more like a temporary wall had been put in - I was sure we could make it work.
..Then I woke up.
Maggie was my first cat. She died last March; we had her put down because she had been diagnosed with diabetes, and the insulin just wasn't working for her. She was around 18.
It was a very hard decision to make. I still fear that I waited too long - she passed away very quickly at the vet's office, almost as soon as the needle was inserted. It was just...terrible.
Maggie was my security blanket; my best friend; sometimes, my only hold on sanity...no matter how depressed I got, I had to keep on going because Maggie needed me.
I miss her so very much.
Anyway...so in the dream, she didn't make a mess because she's dead; I hardly ever see her because she's dead; I want to be with her on the empty floor and Jason thinks I'm crazy because she's dead.
Sometimes, I can feel her with me, and it's always followed by an amazing wave of sadness and loneliness. That's sorta what I got out of the dream, too...she's in an empty place, and she's lonely.
*sigh*
I need to let her go.
I thought I had, but...I suspect not. :(
I was looking around a house that my beloved and I had bought. Our bedroom was on the second floor, and we needed to work a lot on the house in general.
I looked over and realized that Maggie, my tabby cat, was hanging out with us, but that I rarely ever saw her. So I followed her as she ran to the unused third floor of the house. It was only accessible through a small passage, and there was a very narrow hallway leading to the main room on that floor. The next room was a narrow kitchen, with a bedroom next to that and a connecting attic sort of crawlspace. It all sort of went around into a "c" shape.
There was nothing up there at all - not even cat poop.
I went back downstairs and very excitedly told my beloved that we should move upstairs to be with Maggie. It was so clean up there, and those rooms didn't need any work - so we could stay there while we worked on the rest of the house.
Jason looked at me as if I were crazy. I thought, "Oh, he doesn't want to move all this furniture up there!" and began explaining that we could easily enlarge the hallway and such - the hallway wasn't even really anchored down, it felt more like a temporary wall had been put in - I was sure we could make it work.
..Then I woke up.
Maggie was my first cat. She died last March; we had her put down because she had been diagnosed with diabetes, and the insulin just wasn't working for her. She was around 18.
It was a very hard decision to make. I still fear that I waited too long - she passed away very quickly at the vet's office, almost as soon as the needle was inserted. It was just...terrible.
Maggie was my security blanket; my best friend; sometimes, my only hold on sanity...no matter how depressed I got, I had to keep on going because Maggie needed me.
I miss her so very much.
Anyway...so in the dream, she didn't make a mess because she's dead; I hardly ever see her because she's dead; I want to be with her on the empty floor and Jason thinks I'm crazy because she's dead.
Sometimes, I can feel her with me, and it's always followed by an amazing wave of sadness and loneliness. That's sorta what I got out of the dream, too...she's in an empty place, and she's lonely.
*sigh*
I need to let her go.
I thought I had, but...I suspect not. :(
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its not so easy to let go...
Date: 2002-01-20 05:07 pm (UTC)my dog krohma was put down almost three years ago...and he was 12..he had a fused spine from arthritis...he couldn't even go to the bathroom on his own or barely walk...
I loved him to death...and still ache for him..
sometimes I still hear him in my head...
the hurt never goes away...
huggles bunches :)
Re: its not so easy to let go...
Date: 2002-01-20 07:03 pm (UTC)I've lost pets before, but Maggie was a friend, ya know? *sigh*
Re: its not so easy to let go...
Date: 2002-01-20 08:42 pm (UTC)she has been the best cat in the world :)
and she is my friend...my daughter...actually I am always telling my son to go feed his sister lol
she is older than him :)
so yes...I know
huggles bunches :)
Yeah, you *do* know.
Date: 2002-01-21 05:03 am (UTC)Thanks for the understanding..and my love to Bear!
Re: Yeah, you *do* know.
Date: 2002-01-21 07:00 am (UTC)she got the nick bear or tiffbear because we had an ongoing war at the farm about cats and because we had found her on the farm and had raised her up from a little baby my husband's parents whined and complained that she belonged to the farm...so we brought her back thinking it was a better life for her than in the house...well..
she got fleas really badly and since the only car the cats get on the farm is as far as pouring them some milk from the cows...she was dying...my husband knew that if he didn't do something she wouldn't make it...now at the time I was working fulltime outside of the farm and didn't know bear was in such bad shape...she was only like three months old...he called me at work that evening at the one of many jobs I had at the time...and told me she was flea ridden...she was lethargic and not eating...I told him to bring her home...get some of the flea dip that we had...back then they didn't have things like advantage or stuff like that...
he basically dipped her totally in it and she just sat there..I wasn't there when this happened...but he said she just sat there...thin and pathetic...I came home...she was covered in blood..the scabs and stuff from the fleas...the tub he had done it in was full...she was totally infested...my husband being as he was a farmer at the time had to go to bed...so ..I stayed up all night with her...and I cut off all her hair..so I could get the fleas off of her...I was up for hours with her that night...she couldn't even purr she was so weak...we called the vets btw..and there wasn't much they would of been able to do for her...she was likely anemic..I shaved my poor kitty...all the hair that was left was on her paws..and they looked huge compared to the rest of her...thats how she got the nickname bear..or tiffbear...cause of her big cute bear paws that I spent alot of time stroking...it was the only place I could comfort her at the time because she was so irritated from the fleabites.
she lived..of course...and we never let her go back to the farm again...and when my husbands parents opened their mouths about her...my husband told them to go to hell...that she was mine..
and we still have her...and thats why she means the world to me...
as corny as this is...I had fallen asleep...that night..staying up with her...and thank gawd it was a saturday the next day...I woke up to her curled up near my head and neck...purring away in my ear...and my husband looking down at the two of us ...he was surprised she made it through the night..and I said..she will not leave us for a long time...she is staying here..no more farm..I love her too much to let her suffer again...and it was one of the few times so long ago that he actually agreed with me on it...you see my husband being brought up on the farm...looked at animals as nothing else but food and profit...
that incident with tiffbear..changed him forever
and that made me very happy...
:)sorry this got so long
huggles :)
No apology needed!
Date: 2002-01-21 07:50 am (UTC)I'm glad you and Tiff found each other..and that your husband was able to get past what he was taught and see how important she was/is to you.
*hug*
Re: No apology needed!
Date: 2002-01-21 02:24 pm (UTC)huggles and hope your day is going great!
Re: familiars
Date: 2002-01-21 06:03 am (UTC)As much as I love Maggie, I don't think of her as a familiar..
Bella (my chinchilla) hits that mark a little closer. :)
Re: familiars
Date: 2002-01-21 06:49 am (UTC)bear is definately my familiar..everyone especially my husband has said for years that her and I are in sync...and she is so much like me..
I don't know if that is a compliment or not since she can incredibly bitchy at times
rotfl :)
have a great day today :)
huggles
no subject
Date: 2002-01-20 08:27 pm (UTC)~hugz~
wow 18 yrs, none of my cats have made it that long... I can see why it would be so much harder to loose her
Time
Date: 2002-01-21 05:08 am (UTC)We had a cat named Aragorn. He was about 3 when we adopted him.
Our thinking was that I had Maggie, and Jason wanted a cat.
Aragorn, however, chose me as soon as we walked into the pet store that had him up for adoption. But Jason fell in love (thank goodness!) so we brought him home..where it became very obvious that he was definitely Dusti's cat. He was jealous of Jason and would get between us every chance he got. He spent every night curled up by my shoulder, kneading my hair until he fell asleep. He'd play fetch with me. He was just - he was very special.
We only had him about 3, maybe 4 months.
One day, on my husband's day off, I felt like I should call home before lunch. I did so, and Jason told me, "I can't talk..Aragorn's acting really weird. I think our housemate's dog scared him." (The dog NEVER was on the same floor as our cats, but sometimes the barking freaked the kitties out.)
A half hour later, Aragorn was dead. He literally died in Jason's arms from a heart attack. But even at the end, he wouldn't hurt Jason - he had been in a carrier and apparently actually lost some of his claws from lashing out at the towel in there and digging in really hard - but when Jason picked him up, Aragorn was careful to not hurt him.
So. This was (obviously) a shock. And it hurt like hell. I couldn't *believe* how much. We both were in mourning for months.
(Aragorn and Maggie are buried next to each other in our yard. That feels right.)
Anyway...I would expect to mourn Maggie as much as I do..but Aragorn was hardly with us, ya know? :/
Re: Time
Date: 2002-01-21 02:05 pm (UTC)I have cried adn cried over pet I have only had a few months, and it hurt badly for as long if not longer then I had the animal in my life