elionwyr: (Default)
[personal profile] elionwyr
(C'mon, admit it...vomit stories are funny!)

The Uncle Jack story made me think of the following (much shorter) tale:

My then-husband had just returned from a dino dig in Montana, and was presenting a slide show (if memory serves) at the museum where we were both employed.

I was eager to see this.

I was also coming down with my first (knock-on-wood-ONLY) sinus infection. So for much of the show, I was once again huddled in a fetal position in a theatre chair, this time wondering how exactly someone had managed to pour concrete into my sinuses.

About halfway along the drive home, I realized that - yay! - I was going to have to throw up. Now, as previously stated, a Dusti and her vomit needs some privacy. I had reclined the passenger side car seat down as low as I could, so trying to raise myself to an upright position was not going so well. Picture then, if you will, my frantic sideways clawing at the car door handle as J begged me to just lower the window and stick my head out the window if I was going to euke.

"Nooooooooooo, stopstopstop I need to get out!" I moaned, still flailing at the door.

He pulled over. I managed to open the door and..nope, not gonna be able to dive under any bushes this time. I huddled against the passenger side front wheel and emptied the contents of my stomach (mostly drainage from my afflicted sinuses) onto the road.

And then collapsed.

I heard J open his door and walk over to my almost-corpse lying there in the gutter.

"Well! You don't find THAT colour in nature!"

(Indeed, my creation looked rather radioactive.)

"Shut up and put me back in the car!" I mumbled.

...Which he did, bless his heart.

Date: 2009-08-02 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eustaciavye.livejournal.com
You've only had one sinus infection. Wow. You are so very very lucky.

Date: 2009-08-02 02:17 am (UTC)
ext_4696: (Default)
From: [identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com
I **know**!

*knocks repeatedly on wood*

Date: 2009-08-02 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harkalark.livejournal.com
I love your stories. I'm not sure if it's just the way you tell them or the fact that you've had a weird life.

Date: 2009-08-02 04:38 am (UTC)
ext_4696: (Default)
From: [identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com
Yay! **hug**

I will be sure to continue to post 'no, really, I'm a friggin' idiot' stories JUST for you! *laugh*

Date: 2009-08-02 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] contrary74.livejournal.com
I know! You should write about the first time we went to get your license. I totally blame myself for that debacle but it's so damn funny I cry laughing.

Date: 2009-08-03 04:14 am (UTC)
ext_4696: (Default)
From: [identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com
That will be next...though I fully expect you to expand on the tale if need be. :)

Date: 2009-08-02 12:44 pm (UTC)
ext_4831: My Headshot (Head Explode)
From: [identity profile] hughcasey.livejournal.com
ONE sinus infection.

I get two or three EACH YEAR.

I hate you. |-P

Date: 2009-08-03 04:14 am (UTC)
ext_4696: (Default)
From: [identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com
My mother used to get one as part of PMS.
Every month.
Believe you me, I know I'm lucky!
*hug*

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