Lesson learned?
Apr. 7th, 2003 11:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elionwyrMen..
When you ask a woman "What's wrong?" and she answers, "I'm just cranky. Let's not talk right now," the proper response is..
"Yes dear."
If you push the issue, ya know what's gonna happen?
She's gonna prove that yes, she really IS cranky, and ooooo, there's a fight comin'.
Such was the case tonight, with Ferret.
Did the resulting fight help?
Not really.
*sigh*
And there we were, in the supermarket parking lot, with me just letting loose on him.
It was varied stuff, of course...it was about Friday and not being sure how I was getting home... unfair distribution of housework (namely, living with two men - one retired, one working 5 days a week, and me being the one expected to do the bulk of dishes/laundry/etc)...no help with pet care...etc etc etc.
So he was defensive, and I was angry and upset, and heyyyy...let's go buy groceries!
And he's all angry, power-walking with the cart, and I'm hiding under my big fuzzy hat, crying (and boy, I HATE that - I was raised to never cry where anyone can see you - but I also firmly believe that the Joe Public doesn't look that closely at people, and most certainly does NOT want to get involved in anything that looks upsetting or difficult).
"What do you want for dinner?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want to go out and wait in the car?"
The response I did NOT give: "No, you jerk, I want to go outside and run away from you and from feeling like this - I want to start walking home and maybe even have a nice little panic attack because that's what I do when I'm angry and upset - I run away, hide, and hyperventillate."
Instead, I just shook my head.
"I'll make anything you want and that we can afford. Come on..what's your favourite comfort food?"
"..Coffee."
He looked at me. "Coffee ice cream?"
"Ummm....no. Actually...I really don't like coffee ice cream all that much."
And as soon as I said it, I realized I shouldn't have.
"But...I've been buying you coffee ice cream for years!"
"I know. And it's really sweet of you, and I love being thought of, but..."
"So you don't eat it?"
"Well..if there's other stuff in it, I eat that part.."
He just stared at me. "I don't believe you never told me this."
"I didn't know how...I'm sorry. Really, it's very sweet of you.."
"It's amazing we've stayed married this long."
...*sigh*....
When you ask a woman "What's wrong?" and she answers, "I'm just cranky. Let's not talk right now," the proper response is..
"Yes dear."
If you push the issue, ya know what's gonna happen?
She's gonna prove that yes, she really IS cranky, and ooooo, there's a fight comin'.
Such was the case tonight, with Ferret.
Did the resulting fight help?
Not really.
*sigh*
And there we were, in the supermarket parking lot, with me just letting loose on him.
It was varied stuff, of course...it was about Friday and not being sure how I was getting home... unfair distribution of housework (namely, living with two men - one retired, one working 5 days a week, and me being the one expected to do the bulk of dishes/laundry/etc)...no help with pet care...etc etc etc.
So he was defensive, and I was angry and upset, and heyyyy...let's go buy groceries!
And he's all angry, power-walking with the cart, and I'm hiding under my big fuzzy hat, crying (and boy, I HATE that - I was raised to never cry where anyone can see you - but I also firmly believe that the Joe Public doesn't look that closely at people, and most certainly does NOT want to get involved in anything that looks upsetting or difficult).
"What do you want for dinner?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want to go out and wait in the car?"
The response I did NOT give: "No, you jerk, I want to go outside and run away from you and from feeling like this - I want to start walking home and maybe even have a nice little panic attack because that's what I do when I'm angry and upset - I run away, hide, and hyperventillate."
Instead, I just shook my head.
"I'll make anything you want and that we can afford. Come on..what's your favourite comfort food?"
"..Coffee."
He looked at me. "Coffee ice cream?"
"Ummm....no. Actually...I really don't like coffee ice cream all that much."
And as soon as I said it, I realized I shouldn't have.
"But...I've been buying you coffee ice cream for years!"
"I know. And it's really sweet of you, and I love being thought of, but..."
"So you don't eat it?"
"Well..if there's other stuff in it, I eat that part.."
He just stared at me. "I don't believe you never told me this."
"I didn't know how...I'm sorry. Really, it's very sweet of you.."
"It's amazing we've stayed married this long."
...*sigh*....
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-07 09:24 pm (UTC)you kids need to communicate more better...
no subject
Date: 2003-04-07 11:05 pm (UTC)*second hug*
Re:
Date: 2003-04-08 05:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-08 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-08 05:42 am (UTC){{hugs}}
no subject
Date: 2003-04-08 06:35 am (UTC)*hugs* Seriously... I love you girl. I'm sorry to see stuff like this happen. You deserve the world.
Re:
Date: 2003-04-08 06:42 am (UTC):/
***hug***
Thank you for this, honey.
Love you back!
no subject
Date: 2003-04-08 07:10 am (UTC)I'm sad for you. That seems so ineloquent and inadequate.
I... really... nothing else to say. Or, rather, no words to say it...
no subject
Date: 2003-04-08 07:26 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-04-08 07:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-08 08:18 am (UTC)I don't know what it is but my husband seems to pick the biggest fights either right before bed (and after I've taken my help-me-go-to-sleep meds) or right before we go into the grocery. I don't know how many times I've done the 'try to hide you are crying' thing at Kroger *sigh*
I hope things get better for you
*more hugs*
Re:
Date: 2003-04-08 08:21 am (UTC)There are certain times I feel should be off-limits as far as fighting goes....I suppose I'm now adding one to the list. :/
Sorry you empathize. *hug*
And thank you for the good wishes.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-08 01:57 pm (UTC)fighting while in public or about to go into public just shouldn't be allowed ever
Re:
Date: 2003-04-08 03:24 pm (UTC)