alcohol warning

[elionwyr]

Alcohol Consumption -- FDA Warnings...
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can
sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have
mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead/knees.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.