elionwyr | "My kids have paws" (Reply)

So there's this thing I see floating around my Facebook feed today that declares if you're a pet owner, you're a parent - yay, happy Mother's Day to you!

I guess that's a natural progression from the common thought that your pets are your fur-children. But here's my guilty confession:

I don't see my pets as being my kids.

I have loved all of them..even the eternally ungrateful Tokay gecko, Duck. I have cared for them, I have felt responsible for them, I have striven to take care of them to the very best of my ability. I've joked about trying to get food stamps because I've been a single mom raising Lurk all on my own..and hell, I was poor enough a few years back that if I could have claimed him to be my son? I just may have leaped down that particular rabbit hole.

But the truth is, Lurk is not my child.

I had a stepdaughter.
I've been pregnant.

Neither of those things gave me a permanent membership card in the Mother's Day club. And mostly? Mostly, I'm ok with that.

I'm not saying I'm mad at anyone that has said, "You have a pet so you're a mom." I get the sentiment.

I'm saying that, for me, having a pet isn't even in the sane ballpark as having a human child in my life.

I will never look at Lurk and think, oh god, if I say the wrong thing I can scar him emotionally for life. I am careful around him because he has always been more feral than not; but I don't apply the lessons of my childhood to his every day.

And it's true - I have huge powerful (and sometimes loud) opinions on pet care and pet ownership, as well as on what one should and shouldn't do to a child, and some of those opinions are similar - they should both be happy/loved/safe/wanted.

But I'm also pretty damned likely to walk past a baby and pick up a puppy. I'm not sure that's an instinct that would ever make me a candidate for Mother of the Year. It's also not gonna change at this stage of my life. And it doesn't make me a mom. The things that have? Those are things that, by and large, don't 'count.' I've had enough time to get used to that. I don't need a pitying look and a token 'happy Mother's Day' from anyone at this point.

And I think that's what my point is here. To wish me Hallmark Holiday Wishes because I have a cat feels unnecessary to me. If you want to say it because I still love Arielle..I appreciate that. If you want to say it because I tend to mother those around me..well, that hasn't happened for probably over 2 decades, but again, that would be nice.

Or read Jenny's post about the Hallmark Holiday for a bit more insight into my muddled thoughts:
http://thebloggess.com/2013/05/happy-whatever/

Lurk is many things - my sanity, at times, my comfort, my grounding. He's not my child. And I'm really ok about that.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.