Yet, as an outsider... I find the transition between the beginning and the "I don't deserve to eat" (very disturbing one :( ) unclear. Maybe you could have explained who Charlie and the other person were.
Or maybe you wanted it to be this way, when what seems 'just weird to me' is a trigger...
Sorry, never know when such comments are welcome and when not.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-11 01:55 pm (UTC)Yet, as an outsider... I find the transition between the beginning and the "I don't deserve to eat" (very disturbing one :( ) unclear. Maybe you could have explained who Charlie and the other person were.
Or maybe you wanted it to be this way, when what seems 'just weird to me' is a trigger...
Sorry, never know when such comments are welcome and when not.