Writer's Block: Everybody hurts
Aug. 31st, 2011 03:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elionwyr[Error: unknown template qotd]
Yes. Yes, heavens, yes.
And here's what I hate about bullying (besides the obvious):
There is no simple answer.
You can't just ignore it. It doesn't just go away.
Beating the crap out of the bully isn't really the answer.
I think finding a way to reclaim power is the only answer. (In one stupid-dramatic example, the boy who had been bullying me by throwing rocks at me and then stabbing me in the back with a plastic fork only stopped when I grabbed the "weapon" in the middle of class and destroyed it while looking at him.)
So..perhaps yes, the answer is 'reclaim power.' Whether that be you doing it or getting someone that the bully is actually afraid of to do it.
But I hate that adults lie about bullying. They tell kids that bullying happens because of jealousy or attraction, as if that makes it ok. I never had an adult actually HELP me when it came to being bullied. - Well, actually, scratch that. One did. My grandfather. Once. And that is a shining memory, lemme tell ya.
It's such a weird topic. I defended kids that were bullied. I was bullied by some really mean kids that really...it wasn't personal. Not as far as I could tell. One of those kids moved away and came back and I realized that she honestly had no idea who I was. She'd made me miserable and..it didn't matter to her.
And I think that being bullied is something that's really hard to shake out of your Self. When you encounter it as an adult, it's remarkably difficult to not regress, retreat into old duck-and-cover responses.
How do you get through it?
You keep moving forward and you find more things that make you happy and make you feel safe than otherwise. And you take power. You never belittle another person's sorrow or offer empty platitudes when they tell you, "I'm being bullied." And you never never do that crap to someone else.
Yes. Yes, heavens, yes.
And here's what I hate about bullying (besides the obvious):
There is no simple answer.
You can't just ignore it. It doesn't just go away.
Beating the crap out of the bully isn't really the answer.
I think finding a way to reclaim power is the only answer. (In one stupid-dramatic example, the boy who had been bullying me by throwing rocks at me and then stabbing me in the back with a plastic fork only stopped when I grabbed the "weapon" in the middle of class and destroyed it while looking at him.)
So..perhaps yes, the answer is 'reclaim power.' Whether that be you doing it or getting someone that the bully is actually afraid of to do it.
But I hate that adults lie about bullying. They tell kids that bullying happens because of jealousy or attraction, as if that makes it ok. I never had an adult actually HELP me when it came to being bullied. - Well, actually, scratch that. One did. My grandfather. Once. And that is a shining memory, lemme tell ya.
It's such a weird topic. I defended kids that were bullied. I was bullied by some really mean kids that really...it wasn't personal. Not as far as I could tell. One of those kids moved away and came back and I realized that she honestly had no idea who I was. She'd made me miserable and..it didn't matter to her.
And I think that being bullied is something that's really hard to shake out of your Self. When you encounter it as an adult, it's remarkably difficult to not regress, retreat into old duck-and-cover responses.
How do you get through it?
You keep moving forward and you find more things that make you happy and make you feel safe than otherwise. And you take power. You never belittle another person's sorrow or offer empty platitudes when they tell you, "I'm being bullied." And you never never do that crap to someone else.