thinky thoughts about perception and presentation

A few weeks ago, I was told by several people that they enjoy the things I post on Facebook. This is something I've been told privately as well, and it always surprises me. I know it isn't about everything I share - I know that if I share medical articles, for example, that the discussion will generally be not so pleasant. Which frustrates me.

I've been thinking a lot about the faces we present in our electronic world. I think I generally do it "right"...in my 25+ years online, I've only ever heard, "You are the same person online as you are in real life." Which is as it should be, IMNSHO. :)

But I think I'm going to rethink what I share on FB that might encourage angst. Because that's not what I want.

This is also mixed into a bit (or a lot) of over awareness of the opinions of other people. Yes, we're not supposed to care. Yes, when someone goes from compliments to referring to you in..less than kind ways, that says more about the speaker than it does about the object of their descriptor.

Otoh..one thing I struggle with, in regards of my reaction, is when someone describes a person that's supposed to be their friend in less than kind descriptors. It's frustration and it's anger and it's sad-making. It makes me wonder if the kind words people say to me are real, or if they're canceled out by privately stated negatives.

It's not supposed to matter.

It sorta kinda does.

Not-So-Secret Secret: I keep some of the more positive comments I've had typed out to me, because I trust the reflection of who I am in other people's words than I do in my own. I don't do it as much as I used to , because my inner negative voice is much quieter than it used to be..but, la! there it is.

Tangentially, I had a bit of exchange today about the remembering of people's secrets and statements. It's supposed to be a 'guy' thing, remembering what people say, and using it to one's advantage. I don't think it's gender specific. I do think it's cruel, more often than not, to use words that way. And I think it's more a sign of a person that feels a need to have weapons against others than it is a guy thing or a girl thing.

And it's something else I'm pondering. People tell me a lot of stuff. I don't think I've ever used those facts to attack the speaker. But then, that's not how my brain works.

/babble off