gaslighting

•Another thing that contributes to the issue: gaslighting. Gaslighting makes the people who are complaining feel crazy, or discredits them in the eyes of other parties: it prevents fixing the problem because it doesn't admit that a problem exists. Gaslighting explains away any example of the problem (whether logically or not), and explaining away one example is taken to explain away all of them. An example is considered discredited if the complainant can't provide irrefutable documentary evidence of the issue, which is seen as the same thing as disproving the issue --or (this one is my favorite)--they can provide documentary evidence, but if it is presented in full gaslighters will find it too confusing to parse, and if it's presented in brief gaslighters will find it too simplified or subjective to credit.
- coffeeandink

and

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
- Wikipedia

YES YES THIS YES.

Ahem.