elionwyr: (Default)
elionwyr ([personal profile] elionwyr) wrote2003-02-03 12:32 pm
Entry tags:

twiddle

"Water"

I want it.

I want what she holds in her smooth exotic self. I strut, I display, I flick my beauty at her, and she remains unimpressed.

I will offer her a gift, this shiny little stone - clink - she accepts it, but it's not enough.

She is far from sated.

Beloved, I am singing my need to you. I will die without you. I falter at your side, I thirst for you and, frantic, I fill you with all I can gather.

clink
clink


Something in her is stirring, a liquid acquiescence. She begins to reveal her dark secret self - she pours herself forth, and I plunge quickly inside, consuming the essence of what she contains.

She is drained; I am saved; I caress her with wings; I leave Heaven to replenish what I have stolen away.
~~~
Or:
She is drained; I am saved; I caress her with wings as I leave her to
replenish herself.

[identity profile] frostythesuperv.livejournal.com 2003-02-03 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad that, in one of your subsequent entries, you mentioned that this was a retelling of "The Crow and the Pitcher." Because I'm a dunce. And otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten it at all.

Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing, Icarus.
ext_4696: (Default)

Re:

[identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com 2003-02-03 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmm.
So is it too subtle, then?

[identity profile] frostythesuperv.livejournal.com 2003-02-04 04:05 pm (UTC)(link)
No, no. Once I knew what it was about, I got it. But I'm sort of feeble from time to time, so I would have missed it if I didn't know.
ext_4696: (Default)

Re:

[identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com 2003-02-04 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Ok, good.
Thank you for the feedback. It's appreciated. :)

[identity profile] thenowhere.livejournal.com 2004-06-16 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Definitely the ending you've already got.

Gorgeous. Will try and offer more when I'm less sleep-depped.
ext_4696: (Default)

[identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com 2004-06-17 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
That would be wonderful..!

[identity profile] countrymouse.livejournal.com 2004-06-18 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
Oh me too, being a dunce. I'm glad someone else mentioned "The Crow and the Pitcher". Where is my brain? .....