A matter of pride

[elionwyr]

National Coming Out Day has come and gone, and was tarnished by Ann Coulter's ridiculous tweet, Last Thursday was national "coming out" day.This Monday is national "disown your son" day.

I don't generally have much to say about NCOD, other than to cheer folks on that are inspired to say, 'This is who I am.'. But in response to people like Coulter, or like Romney, who commented about gay people,"I didn't know you had families," and blocked an anti-bullying guide because it discussed bisexuals and transgendered people (http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/06/12/498033/governor-romney-blocked-anti-bullying-guide-for-discussing-bisexual-and-transgender-identities/?mobile=wp)... Well. I've got something to say about all that.

I knew at a very young age that I had a gay parent. I didn't understand sexuality, of course; I just knew my mom wasn't going to marry any man after my father.

I want to be very clear about that. I understood at a young age that love wasn't defined by gender.

It's a very simple concept. Love whom you will.

It's rather the way I looked at religion, in that the labels didn't matter to me. I still can't tell you which flavours of church I attended throughout my childhood. What mattered to me was how the church spoke to my spirit.

And when it came to love..well, it was a very similar thing.

On the other hand, I knew no one else with a family like mine. There were no celebrity couples proudly/cautiously announcing they were gay and they had kids. I don't think any of my friends knew about my mom. My stepmother was appalled that I knew, and there was colossal pressure on me to be straight.

Again, I was a child. On one hand, I was pretty open to just love. On the other, I ended up pretty much asexual, at a time when healthy exploration should have been my experience. I dated a boy or two. I adores a girl or two. And after a lot of time and growing, I learned how to be ok loving both kinds of people.

As a bisexual woman, lesbians I grew up with as parental figures rejected me in my adulthood.

As a bisexual woman that has had very different relationships with men and women, I was told I somehow didn't count as bi because I didn't meet people's expectations of what that label should look like/act like.

As a bisexual woman who has given her heart to her soulmate who happens to be male, I'm now told I'm straight.

I am 43 years old, and I am tired of other people's expectations and definitions.

And really, at the heart of it, an I bisexual? Omnisexual? Heterosexual?

I don't really care about the labels.

I'm a person that loves people, regardless of their trappings.

It would sure be nice for that to be enough for the world around me.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Comments

[eustaciavye.livejournal.com]

I just call you Dusti :)

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Which is perfect . :)

[celtic_maenad]

hells to the yeah.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

*squish-hug*

[harkalark.livejournal.com]

Well said.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[adelheid-p.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Well said.

[elionwyr.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[cypherindigo.livejournal.com]

<3

[oneagain.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, the world around you is full of narrow-minded idiots. Good for you for speaking up and saying what you need to. Try to ignore the idiots. They're idiots, after all. I won['t go so far as to say smile and nod; feel free to look at them like their idiots. But I do hope their stupidity/ignorance loses any affect on you over time (and who knows; people change; perhaps they will become less idiotic over time--it's been known to happen).

[spoothbrush.livejournal.com]

Oh so this. I'm very very very slowly starting to be out about some things to my (very broadly queer friendly) department right now, and it's so confusing... because other people's ideas of a lot of labels don't work for me. So far it hasn't led to a lot of angst, but there's certainly been confusion..

[rowancat.livejournal.com]

"I'm a person that loves people, regardless of their trappings."

You got right to the very heart of the matter :)

I hate labels, absolutely nothing is so simple as to be labeled, let alone people and their relationships.