elionwyr: (Default)
elionwyr ([personal profile] elionwyr) wrote2012-10-23 06:08 pm
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A matter of pride

National Coming Out Day has come and gone, and was tarnished by Ann Coulter's ridiculous tweet, Last Thursday was national "coming out" day.This Monday is national "disown your son" day.

I don't generally have much to say about NCOD, other than to cheer folks on that are inspired to say, 'This is who I am.'. But in response to people like Coulter, or like Romney, who commented about gay people,"I didn't know you had families," and blocked an anti-bullying guide because it discussed bisexuals and transgendered people (http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/06/12/498033/governor-romney-blocked-anti-bullying-guide-for-discussing-bisexual-and-transgender-identities/?mobile=wp)... Well. I've got something to say about all that.

I knew at a very young age that I had a gay parent. I didn't understand sexuality, of course; I just knew my mom wasn't going to marry any man after my father.

I want to be very clear about that. I understood at a young age that love wasn't defined by gender.

It's a very simple concept. Love whom you will.

It's rather the way I looked at religion, in that the labels didn't matter to me. I still can't tell you which flavours of church I attended throughout my childhood. What mattered to me was how the church spoke to my spirit.

And when it came to love..well, it was a very similar thing.

On the other hand, I knew no one else with a family like mine. There were no celebrity couples proudly/cautiously announcing they were gay and they had kids. I don't think any of my friends knew about my mom. My stepmother was appalled that I knew, and there was colossal pressure on me to be straight.

Again, I was a child. On one hand, I was pretty open to just love. On the other, I ended up pretty much asexual, at a time when healthy exploration should have been my experience. I dated a boy or two. I adores a girl or two. And after a lot of time and growing, I learned how to be ok loving both kinds of people.

As a bisexual woman, lesbians I grew up with as parental figures rejected me in my adulthood.

As a bisexual woman that has had very different relationships with men and women, I was told I somehow didn't count as bi because I didn't meet people's expectations of what that label should look like/act like.

As a bisexual woman who has given her heart to her soulmate who happens to be male, I'm now told I'm straight.

I am 43 years old, and I am tired of other people's expectations and definitions.

And really, at the heart of it, an I bisexual? Omnisexual? Heterosexual?

I don't really care about the labels.

I'm a person that loves people, regardless of their trappings.

It would sure be nice for that to be enough for the world around me.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

[identity profile] eustaciavye.livejournal.com 2012-10-23 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I just call you Dusti :)
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[identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 02:43 am (UTC)(link)
Which is perfect . :)
celtic_maenad: Oil painting of girl's shoulders & head. The girl has ram's horns and red hair, pulled back. (Default)

[personal profile] celtic_maenad 2012-10-24 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
hells to the yeah.
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[identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 02:44 am (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] harkalark.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
Well said.
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[identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :)
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[identity profile] adelheid-p.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
*hugs* Well said.
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[identity profile] elionwyr.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 02:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :)

[identity profile] cypherindigo.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 01:05 pm (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] oneagain.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 02:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Unfortunately, the world around you is full of narrow-minded idiots. Good for you for speaking up and saying what you need to. Try to ignore the idiots. They're idiots, after all. I won['t go so far as to say smile and nod; feel free to look at them like their idiots. But I do hope their stupidity/ignorance loses any affect on you over time (and who knows; people change; perhaps they will become less idiotic over time--it's been known to happen).
Edited 2012-10-24 14:19 (UTC)

[identity profile] spoothbrush.livejournal.com 2012-10-24 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh so this. I'm very very very slowly starting to be out about some things to my (very broadly queer friendly) department right now, and it's so confusing... because other people's ideas of a lot of labels don't work for me. So far it hasn't led to a lot of angst, but there's certainly been confusion..

[identity profile] rowancat.livejournal.com 2012-10-25 06:06 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm a person that loves people, regardless of their trappings."

You got right to the very heart of the matter :)

I hate labels, absolutely nothing is so simple as to be labeled, let alone people and their relationships.