May. 14th, 2012

elionwyr: (barefoot)
One of this past weekend's discussions was about how Facebook is a blessing because it lets you keep in touch with your friends' lives in a more intimate way than if you talked to them a few times a year.

Today held a bit of a flashback to something that happened to another friend a few months ago. That's a convoluted way of saying 'wow deja vu of the worst kind ever.' Today, the news flashed my FB feed that a friend was found in his home, apparently struck by an aneurysm.

And it's funny how I hesitate over calling him 'friend.' We met once. But we spent a few months texting and emailing a lot as he processed a sudden change in his life. I'm not sure when he went from 'someone I've met' to 'someone whose death is making me cry.' It's an alchemy born of an unexpected and mostly under-the-radar connection. I don't think I have the right to this reaction.

But - la. Here it is.

I was talking to my mom when I saw the news. My voice changed. I hung up, and I checked in on the people that I know knew him much better than I did.

I went for a walk.

I thought about the times I lived alone and isolated, no landline, no accessible phone signal, sick in bed, wondering what happens if something happens? who would know? And so maybe my tears are because I have had that fear, considered that possibility.

But this is, of course, not about me.

Yesterday the haunt community lost a sweet, talented home haunter. His website, http://hauntproject.com, is a great resource. His home haunt videos and pics are here: http://www.perfessorevil.com/ His FB page is being flooded with messages of love and thank yous - in the end, those kinds of messages are the best we can hope for. He made a difference, a positive impact, on those around him - those he may not have realized treasured him as much as they did. He was a book geek, a lover of ren faires, a sender of sugary birthday treats. He was honest with his struggles as his life took an unexpected and dramatic turn last year, and he weathered those difficult inner earthquakes with a blunt honesty that was impossible to not respect. Rik was creative and kind. Sensitive. A good man.

He's going to be missed. A lot.

January 2013

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